We often get caught in other’s work instead of doing others. How to say no to others? It will hurt their feelings, we often think.
Saying no to others is difficult and most of the time we instead of helping ourselves, start doing other works.
I remember once in college interview for an internship, the interviewer asked me about my weaknesses.
I hesitate to say no to others. Believe me; you can’t keep everyone happy, as you are not a pizza.
If you want to achieve high goals in your life, you need to manage your time, and the first step is to organize your time. Always getting busy with other works will not benefits you much.
I am not selfish, that’s why I help everyone. Saying no at works makes people feel embarrassing too.
We want to get recognized by peers and that’s the main reason why we keep getting in other’s works.
That’s right. It is not true that not helping others makes you selfish. Saying no to other means, not to get involved in other works too much. You can still help anyone.
How to say no to others?
If you also find it difficult to say no to others, here are few tips on how you can make time for yourself.
1. Be honest:
You can say the exact reason why you can’t do this to someone. If it’s minor help and just advice, you can easily discuss with him within 10 minutes or so, but it’s a lengthy discussion, just say no and tell them the exact reason why you can’t help them.
If you don’t know about any topic that they are asking about simply say you don’t have any idea. Don’t try to explore as it is going to take much of your time.
2. Mind your business:
Here is an amazing fact, "Mind your business", was a motto imprinted on the Fugio cent of 1787 (the first general circulation coin of U.S. currency).
I think most of the people get caught in other works as they don’t know how to mind their business.
You don’t need to be someone who always going to help everyone no matter what’s your condition is.
If you have no expertise in an area, if someone better than you is always there to help, if letting them learn themselves is a nice way to learn, then you don’t need to unnecessarily help them.
3. Let the person learn:
I was learning web development during my college, there was a senior of mine who always helped me a lot during learning.
But his way of helping was different. Whenever I get stuck in something and ask him, he just gave me a hint and told me to find on the internet, I used to spend hours finding that thing.
At last, when I again couldn’t do it, I went to him. And he just used to connect the missing dots that I couldn’t find on my own and the rest is done.
So the best way to teach someone is to let them learn and realize.
4. Have a healthy friendship:
If your friends understand you better, they respect you. If you say no to them they don’t take it too seriously.
I often fo for a trip with friends during weekends. But sometimes I don’t feel like going out. I simply say no giving the exact reason that I don’t want to go rather I’ll rest today.
They understand it. So, have a healthy and deep friendship.
5. Have respect for others:
If you say no to others then you should also not expect someone to be always available for you.
When your friends say no, you also need to understand them and have respect for their choice to say no.
I have seen people say no to others, but when others’ say no to them, they get angry. Don’t do it. Respect other decisions too.
6. Have some personal rules:
We all have some personal values, and we often get hurt when our values are being questioned.
When you are with your friends, they should know about your values and so are you supposed to know about them.
If they don’t want to be part of something because it questions their values, has respect, and does don’t argue with them.
We all have got limited time for our goals and projects. As a student or employee, many people ask you for your help.
The power of positive no can save you a lot of time and effort.
Don’t forget these 6 rules if you don’t want to be part of something and say no to them.
Respecting everybody’s decision is as important as expecting the same from others.
Learning to say no book:
Here are a few books that I found useful that teach you in-depth science and art of how to say no to others. The best thing is that you can buy them on amazon too.